Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
