Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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