so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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