Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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