i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
