I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
