She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
