she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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