i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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