awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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