Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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