I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize