Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
