Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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