I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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