Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
