I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
