i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
