so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
