Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
