it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
