So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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