bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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