i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
They took my balls.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
