and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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