k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
God, I missed his penis.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
