Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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