Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
