I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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