everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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