remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
