There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
