Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
