Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
