hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
