After last night, I could never be a politician.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Actions speak louder than pants.
We talked him into tasing himself.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
