"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
