I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
