her vagine was all disorganized.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My dick has a subreddit
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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