shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
