drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I have tasted many bathrooms
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
