he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
honey bunches of taint.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
