New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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