I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
