WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
the raccoons are back...
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