I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
