So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
