no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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