The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
