Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have demons in me.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
